Why is it when I'm dealing with a topic, everyone around me starts buzzing with the same thing? (Short answer: Law of Attraction) Anyway, lately I've been looking at defensiveness. I got defensive at another mom when I was watching our kids play. I assumed that an action by her was an affront to me and I got defensive about it. The poor soul apologized ten times, but I had this uncomfortable, lingering, icky feeling that I finally figured out. It was not her fault at all, it was my interpretation of her actions that was the problem. When I cooled down, I was able to reframe her actions in the context of "not having anything to do with me." I could understand her concern for her child and - get this - I might have done the same thing. But there was a message for me in there...
My conclusion is that whenever I am defensive, I am coming from a place of fear. Fear that I will look bad, fear that someone is judging me, fear that I am not in control. (Yikes!) I guess all fear boils down to: fear I'll lose something I have, fear I'll not get something I want.
But when I am in faith, when I am standing in who I truly am, I don't get defensive - about anything. So in reality my defensiveness is a gift to me - it shows me that I'm not standing in the right place. A shift needs to take place and then all is well. Sometimes it is holding onto a positive thought, like an affirmation. Sometimes prayer will produce the needed shift. One thing is for sure though, it is up to me, because it is all happening in me. So in the end... I do have control. AHA!
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