Being Me
This week my friend honored me by asking me to read the blessing at her upcoming wedding. I was so touched, tears immediately welled up in my eyes. Embarrassed, I held them back while exclaiming, "Oh no, I am crying!" So I was wondering why that was my first reaction? I love my friend so dearly, why would I be embarrassed to cry in front of her?
First about her: in my book of positive aspects, I have two pages on her -- her attributes are so many. There are many entries about her physical beauty (seriously, she is flawless!) There are many about her service to me (helped me get a job, hired me herself twice, supported me in both my adoptions.) There are her character traits that I so admire (volunteerism, committed to her own self-growth, dedication in her relationships) And her personality (funny, she's got a great mind - so creative, she's always thinking outside the box.) She really does have it all.
And now she is marrying the absolute dream man. Kind, considerate, smart, funny & hot. (hmmm just like her...)
And I guess I doubted my fabulousness for a minute. Although in my book of positive aspects, the page on me is even longer than the one on her, there are many items that she has that I do not. And it is a very human thing, I think, to look at another's greatness and shrink in comparison. And it is WRONG! This kind of thinking comes from the mindset of competition. That if she has something that I don't, that I am left wanting or lacking in some way. But the truth is -- good for me -- that she has it and I KNOW HER. And of course, I have things she does not because we are all in this together. How would that work out if we all had the exact same attributes? We sure wouldn't need each other then.
So it's back to humility. I am me and that's all I can be. And it has to be OK with me. Right here, right now. I have all that I need to be me. The only comparison that makes sense is comparing me with the me I used to be. (And, wow, I have grown!) And besides, the Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. Therefore, she could not even be in my experience if we were not alike.
One of my favorite authors, Catherine Ponder, says that we should always be happy for the successes of others. If we can bless them, those same successes are on their way to us. The fact that we can witness another's success means we are very close to our own. So don't listen to the voice that wants to tell you that you are not enough. You are always enough for whatever you are living. When you remember that fact, the clarity you need for your next right step always appears.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Don't Look Back
I've noticed this tendency in my clients, and myself, to look at past events and say, "Oh, if that would only have gone this way," or "if this had not happened," or "if I'd only known..." But to say this is to miss the point -- we aren't supposed to know! The art of living --the fun of it all -- is in the learning as we go along. In fact, when we spend time lamenting the past, we have stopped moving forward. Consider this quote by Alexander Graham Bell, "When one door closes another opens. But we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us." So every time we look back, we stop the flow of abundance to us. Our work is to look for the positive aspects of all that happens to us. Why? Well first, because when your focus is on what went wrong you are attracting more of that. It's like taking one step forward and two steps back. And secondly, because you never know exactly how the Universe is delivering your good to you. If you bless everything that happens, you are bound to hit upon the one thing that is, in fact, the next step to what you have been praying for!
There is an old fable to illustrate this point:
There was an old Chinese farmer who had only one horse, and one day the horse ran away. The neighbors came to console him over his terrible loss. The farmer said, “Good thing, bad thing, I don’t know”
A month later, the horse came home--this time bringing with her two beautiful wild horses. The neighbors became excited at the farmer's good fortune. Such lovely strong horses! The farmer said, “Good thing, bad thing, I don’t know.”
The farmer's son was thrown from one of the wild horses and broke his leg. All the neighbors were very distressed. Such bad luck! The farmer said, “Good thing, bad thing, I don’t know.”
A war came, and every able-bodied man was conscripted and sent into battle. Only the farmer's son, because he had a broken leg, remained. The neighbors congratulated the farmer. “Good thing, bad thing, I don’t know,” said the farmer.
So you see, you never know which seemingly regrettable event is really bringing you a great boon. Bless them all and place your attention firmly back to your future and what you want to transpire. As Micheal Beckwith put it, "Energy flows where attention goes."
Here's some things to say when you are tempted to lament past events:
1) Something good will come out of that.
2) Hmm. That was interesting.
3) I refuse to give my attention to that; I'm going to look ahead.
4) I bless that situation and everyone in it.
Say it and let it go. This is such a vital habit to develop if you want a truly prosperous life. Do you?
I've noticed this tendency in my clients, and myself, to look at past events and say, "Oh, if that would only have gone this way," or "if this had not happened," or "if I'd only known..." But to say this is to miss the point -- we aren't supposed to know! The art of living --the fun of it all -- is in the learning as we go along. In fact, when we spend time lamenting the past, we have stopped moving forward. Consider this quote by Alexander Graham Bell, "When one door closes another opens. But we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us." So every time we look back, we stop the flow of abundance to us. Our work is to look for the positive aspects of all that happens to us. Why? Well first, because when your focus is on what went wrong you are attracting more of that. It's like taking one step forward and two steps back. And secondly, because you never know exactly how the Universe is delivering your good to you. If you bless everything that happens, you are bound to hit upon the one thing that is, in fact, the next step to what you have been praying for!
There is an old fable to illustrate this point:
There was an old Chinese farmer who had only one horse, and one day the horse ran away. The neighbors came to console him over his terrible loss. The farmer said, “Good thing, bad thing, I don’t know”
A month later, the horse came home--this time bringing with her two beautiful wild horses. The neighbors became excited at the farmer's good fortune. Such lovely strong horses! The farmer said, “Good thing, bad thing, I don’t know.”
The farmer's son was thrown from one of the wild horses and broke his leg. All the neighbors were very distressed. Such bad luck! The farmer said, “Good thing, bad thing, I don’t know.”
A war came, and every able-bodied man was conscripted and sent into battle. Only the farmer's son, because he had a broken leg, remained. The neighbors congratulated the farmer. “Good thing, bad thing, I don’t know,” said the farmer.
So you see, you never know which seemingly regrettable event is really bringing you a great boon. Bless them all and place your attention firmly back to your future and what you want to transpire. As Micheal Beckwith put it, "Energy flows where attention goes."
Here's some things to say when you are tempted to lament past events:
1) Something good will come out of that.
2) Hmm. That was interesting.
3) I refuse to give my attention to that; I'm going to look ahead.
4) I bless that situation and everyone in it.
Say it and let it go. This is such a vital habit to develop if you want a truly prosperous life. Do you?
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