What will you leave behind?

Today I am considering my legacy. Not in small part because last week I reached the esteemed and gilded age of 50. And it is not so bad. I did see it coming...

About 3 years ago, I made peace with my age and myself. I stopped struggling with my life-long desire to be a mother and began the process of adopting my children. You see, I kept thinking that Mr. Right was on his way and I was patiently waiting for him to arrive and fulfill my dream. I finally realized that my dream wasn't contingent on anyone else. I had to make peace with me and my life just as it was. And then I could move forward. The joyous life that I am living right now is testament enough that I made the right choice. And, of course, there is still room for Mr. Right when he shows up. ;-)

Everyone is different, but as this age is passed by many of my friends, I am noticing a trend. Something about age 50 calls us to stop and take inventory. If we are wise, we will ask ourselves two questions: What has my life caused me to become? What would I like to do with it now? In other words, we don't have unlimited time anymore. We want to be more focused in our approach of what we want to accomplish. Victor Hugo said it well, "Forty is the old age of youth and Fifty is the youth of old age." We want to make sure that we don't wake up at 70 with regrets.

So the best way to take an inventory is to (with pen & paper) ask questions like these: What has made me the happiest in my life's journey? What do I do exceptionally well? What do I wish I were doing with my life? All these types of questions can get the ball rolling. I highly recommend you then ask yourself this question: Which values are most important to me? Then zero in on your top four. Anything you do MUST include these four.

Sometimes it's helpful to list all of your talents, skills and abilities. At 50, these lists can be quite long! It's useful because we are so accustomed to our own gifts that we forget they are special. We forget that not everyone can do what we can do well. People who are organized forget that is a skill. (that many of us could use, by the way) Artists often forget how stunning their artwork is because they look at it all the time.

As you are taking stock, check in with your Inner Knower. That's where the direction that you really want to follow comes from. You may want to spend a little extra time in meditation. It is the surest way to turn up the volume on that inner voice.

Each age has its own special joys and experiences. I am finding the 50s to be a whole new beginning. In fact, my newest program, Footprints at Fifty, is an inspirational starting point for all of us Baby Boomers to answer that question: What am I leaving behind? More details on this innovative members-only program in a few days. :)

Lowering your standards on Miracles

Recently, a class I was taking asked us to poll our friends with this question:
"What is the most unexpected, miraculous thing you have ever experienced?"
The point of the exercise was to help us to see that miracles really do happen everyday. And they are much more frequent than we imagine. True, indeed.

Here are some of the answers I received:


* Looking from a boat at snow capped mountain rising up out of the ocean
* Conceiving and having twins at age 44
* Watching my hole-in-one go into the cup
* Meeting my wife - I thought this would never happen to me
* The adoption process -- celebrating my daughter's culture made motherhood extra special
* Falling in love, love at first sight
* Being able to look down on a rainbow
* The first five years of my brother's life
* The love I have for my children
* Having a boy after having 4 girls

Very diverse, yes. And very attainable too, I would say. My mentor used to say, "Perhaps you should lower your standards on miracles." In other words, we tend to think certain things we want or need are unattainable when, in reality, they happen everyday. It's only in our own thought process that we decide they are unattainable. If I saw more things as miracles, maybe more things would seem possible to me.

My answer, by the way, was: bonding with my adopted son instantly and growing to not only deeply love him, but motherhood as well - far more than I had imagined. That's my answer to the "most" but there are many unexpected and miraculous things around me everyday, if I will only look at them. The important thing to remember is to look for them! What a miracle that I can have a Spanish class over Skype with my Guatemalan teacher and, with web cam, I can see him too. Miracle! My son, with two languages, was slow to start speaking. 4 months before his third birthday he tests like a 3 year old. Miracle! Last Thursday, I celebrated 24 years without a drink or a drug. Miracle! A butterfly flew over to me yesterday and flapped its elegant, large, black wings in front of my face for a moment. Miracle!

And how delicious it feels to think this way all day! It's so much better than trying to plan out what is going to happen and how I can affect that. When I am looking for miracles...miracles happen. The trick is to look for the miracles that are already happening around you. That's what opens the door for the new miracles to come. Like attracts like, remember.

So lower your standards and let the miracles begin!